Simmering Practice
"Once we have identified our aggressive tendencies, we can apply the principles of nonviolence. We will need to make a firm decision not to feed our aggression. If we were to go on a diet to slim down, for instance, we would need to refrain from old patterns of eating that don't support weight loss. Of course we would be able to eat--but no brownies! We would need to decide beforehand that brownies would not support our weight loss. Then, if a craving for brownies were to arise, we would need to practice abstinence--we would refrain from eating the brownie. It may seem natural to just go ahead and eat one, because that's our habit, and it may seem artificial to refrain. But our wisdom tells us that "the no-brownie" way provides the only path to weight loss. If we were to stick with this wisdom, we would have to simmer in the discomfort of not having our brownie. We would have to starve our brownie-eating tendency ...and maybe go get a carrot stick instead. But in the end we would feel lighter and more confident about having moved forward with our aspirations. Similarly, when we decide to practice nonviolence, we make a deliberate choice to simmer with our aggression. Simmering doesn't mean you boil in your aggression like a piece of meat cooking in a soup. It means you refuse to give in to anger because you know the result of aggression and you want to experience the confidence that comes from patience. So you summon up all of your strength and let yourself feel how strong the tendency is, without rejecting it or giving in to it. In other words, simmering wears out the tendency to react habitually. Athletes do this in their own way. They love the pain of burning muscles when they exercise. They appreciate that kind of burning sensation because they know it makes them stronger and builds endurance. Through the nonviolent practice of simmering, we can work to change our basic reactions to the world around us, and this has a positive effect on others. Then we can feel good and safe in the world of unpredictability, and we will not feel so intimidated by various states of mind, such as anger. In fact, when we simmer with our aggression, we not only burn the seeds or latent tendencies that give rise to further aggression, we also make good use of those seeds as an opportunity to cultivate patience. We might begin to question the nature of anger: What is anger, really, when we don't react to it? You might be surprised to find it isn't as substantial as you thought. Many people consider reaching the peak of Mount Everest a great accomplishment. But imagine accomplishing the practice of nonviolence. Through simmering in the raw discomfort of our tendencies, we can gain victory over our aggression and experience the confidence and well-being that come from patience. When you climb Mount Everest (and this is no insult to climbers), you still have to climb back down, but, accomplishing the practice of nonviolence, we just keep moving forward, building our confidence and sense of freedom. We move from one good place to an even better place. Because of the peace that comes from nonviolence and the pain that we experience from aggression, Shantideva, the eighth-century Indian master and author of The Way of the Bodhisattva, says that patience is the noblest austerity. Most of us know at least one person who is really patient. Patient people seem to have a jovial mind, a mind that is happy at the root. Some people seem naturally patient, and we marvel at how lucky they are. But in most cases, a patient, jovial mind needs to be cultivated through the practice of tolerance and nonviolence. So much of this has to do not just with calming irritations but with how we shape our minds--how we replace aggression with patience. It requires a since of broad-mindedness that comes from seeing the effects of aggression and, conversely, the effects of patience. This takes some contemplation. Someone told me recently that through simply contemplating the ways in which she feeds her mental unrest, she had the first good night's sleep she had had in a long time. That is what we all want, isn't it? A good night's sleep: a mind that is not reactive, a restful mind, a mind free from struggle." By Dzigar Kongtrul, From All the Rage: Buddhist Wisdom on Anger and Acceptance
0 Comments
Leave a Reply. |
AuthorWoman of color, surviving the academy, writing myself down Archives
March 2018
Categories |